Positively Persuasive

A couple weeks ago, Liam had his 2nd birthday. Of course, he received a nice array of his OWN prizes; now some of the trucks and tractors are specifically HIS. This is a pretty big deal as now he has jurisdiction over some toys. You see, in our house each child has a handful of toys that can be considered their own. This means that if someone else is playing with, say Phinehas’s excavator, Phin has the right to kindly request that they surrender his digger. There is no question of ‘who had it first’; it simply is Phin’s and he can have it when he wants to. He also can benevolently share his treasures when he wants to.

Well, now Liam is in on the game and now he has some nice bargaining chips, frequently desired by the other players. You know how it is – the grass is always greener on the OTHER side of the fence… the toys are always better when they belong to someone else… So, as you can imagine, Phin and Abbi really, REALLY want to play with Liam’s shiny new toys.

Here is a sample of the dialog that frequently occurs. (Now, remember: Liam is just learning to talk. Daily we are ALL encouraging him to say new words and he usually does so, readily.)

Setting: Phin and Liam had their trucks, tractors and trailers out, playing at the little table. They were getting along quite nicely! Phin had helped Liam hook up his trailer and they were driving their loads to and fro. Abigail saw the enticing fun and, not wanting to miss out, decided to join in the. She went over to scope out the game plan, saw that Liam’s new red tractor was not presently in use and, like the good, kind, sweet big sister that she is, she asked, “Liam, may I play with your red tractor?”

Now, remember. Liam was NOT playing with it; in fact, he probably had forgotten about it. BUT, he likes his new power, so he said, “MO,” with an emphatic shake of his head. Sudden silence descended. Phin ceased moving and looked at his little brother with amused shock. Abigail was stunned at the harsh cruelty and, not quite believing her request had been denied, she asked again, “Liam, PLEASE may I play with your red tractor?” Pausing for dramatic effect, Liam hesitated and then with a small smile, again shook his head and said “Mo!” He then proceeded to ignore all else around him and with a loud “Brrruuuuuummmm!” continued driving his well-loaded tractor-trailer across the table.

Phin, still frozen in disbelief, found his voice and said, “Liam, say ‘yahh’ to Abigail.” Without batting an eye Liam turned to Abbi and said, “Yahh.” Her denied request suddenly revoked, Abbi scampered off to fetch the red tractor before Liam could change his mind.

Phin, Abbi’s hero for that moment, has no idea of the persuasiveness that he possesses. For one so little he sure has a confident, commanding air about him – confident that his reality is THE reality, confident that his requests WILL be granted, confident that his will shall INDEED be carried out. Last Saturday we went to my parents’ house where the boys were given a very nice wooden fire truck. As we were getting ready to leave Phin was carrying it and said kindly, “Thank you for the fire truck!” Nonno (my dad) replied, “Now, you will share that with Liam, won’t you?” Phin paused to think then, with finality in his voice, he said, “If I do, I do; if I don’t, I don’t.” That is it. No question’s, thank you! End of story. Andrew said that he looked like a little mafia hit man as he said it.

Ahhh! Looks like I have my hands full, teaching these boys to be men of honor, correctly using their manliness for the good of others… good thing they needn’t look far to find a good example; for sure I will be often turning to their Papa to help me figure this out!